Every moment of light and dark

savored_sound @ 2010-01-06T00:11:00

2010-01-06T05:11:27Z

my friend lauren is shooting her senior thesis project...underwater.
I get to load the film and be on camera team for it.

holy shit.
let's go swimming

savored_sound @ 2010-01-02T02:20:00

2010-01-02T07:20:31Z

wow...
that hurt a whole lot more than I expected.

saying goodbye this time felt so difficult.
hugging my brothers tight and kissing my sisters on the cheek,
I'm nervous and happy at the same time.
we've all grown so much and we've got the same safe places in each others hearts.

I'm ready to get back to winston and back to what I love to do
but it was really nice to get away this time, my heart feels fuller than it ever has leaving this town.

I love you guys.
and I can honestly say I mean that with everything in me.

savored_sound @ 2009-12-05T12:28:00

2009-12-05T17:28:15Z

I want to start a comic

savored_sound @ 2009-12-03T07:57:00

2009-12-03T12:57:42Z

realization:
I drink so I don't think about you and her.

savored_sound @ 2009-12-02T15:54:00

2009-12-02T20:54:56Z

inside your spaceship
meteors pounding on the roof
you gave me
your favorite words and pictures
pages bound together with glue and string

Here's something for you to do
while you're gone from here

I stepped out into the dangerous shower
a river of stars flooding the gutters
closed the door
and you sped away

these soggy pages can keep me warm
I don't need you

savored_sound @ 2009-11-16T20:40:00

2009-11-17T01:40:33Z

why is it?

because I'm doing something interesting with myself

because I make you feel important
or different
or like you're worth something more than what everyone says

because I'm only home for a few days at a time
and you've got months in between
to be whoever you want
and fuck whoever you want

all of the above?
or something else?

okay, nevermind.
I don't want to know.

savored_sound @ 2009-11-11T19:57:00

2009-11-12T01:12:22Z

he said
"Its like when you're a kid playing a game
I was playing one game,
then you came in and wanted to play
but you got to change all the rules
and kept making up new ones without telling me
so neither of us could win

you can't change the rules like that"

...why can't I ever settle down?

savored_sound @ 2009-11-06T11:44:00

2009-11-06T16:44:37Z

Against the walls
Against your rules
Against your skin

savored_sound @ 2009-11-04T23:29:00

2009-11-05T04:33:23Z

Stills from Broke Bitch Mountin'
Director: Cameron Abdo
Writer: Dylan Gravely
Producer: Dylan Gravely
Editor: Matt Gorbachev
Director of Photography: Callie Moore
Production Designer: Rachel Fowler

terrible quality capturing stills from a mini DV tape...but still

From under the bed

more to come

savored_sound @ 2009-11-01T18:57:00

2009-11-02T00:04:45Z

3 blocks or 4?
I honestly don't remember.
Pouring rain all the way back to my apartment.

I don't want anything from you.
I love these people.
This place makes me crazy.

From now on though,
I am only utility.

This entry makes no sense.

savored_sound @ 2009-10-27T22:46:00

2009-10-28T02:46:41Z

I wrote this in 2006

I look down to find my face in the dirt.

And it is at this moment that I realize two things.

1. I am where I chose to put myself.
2. I am only a human.

strange how I think that will apply for the rest of my life.

savored_sound @ 2009-10-27T01:29:00

2009-10-27T05:31:06Z

tough and unaffected.
untouchable.

sometimes even I forget that my feelings can be hurt by something.
I never want to let you down again.

savored_sound @ 2009-10-24T17:06:00

2009-10-24T21:09:53Z

One film down.
Shooting another tomorrow and another next weekend.

I feel so productive
and exhausted.
I look so worn down
and haggard.

So good.
So good.

savored_sound @ 2009-10-15T16:30:00

2009-10-15T20:31:43Z

blacked out for the first time ever last night
college is making me neglect my body
...

savored_sound @ 2009-10-13T18:53:00

2009-10-13T23:00:11Z

director of photography for
3 movies in 2 weeks

Broke Bitch Mountin'
sex, blood, gore

Claude + Camera
kid, polaroid, fantasy

A Perfect Opportunity
zombie apocalypse, love story

so, here we go second year
I'll have some interesting things to show when I get home for break...

savored_sound @ 2009-10-10T12:53:00

2009-10-10T16:57:39Z

You called me after he left and walked back in the rain.
We talked until your phone died or until something told us we had gone too far.
Now only you know all of those things about me
and I should be scared as hell but I'm not.

savored_sound @ 2009-10-02T11:12:00

2009-10-02T15:14:03Z

"Don't run away from me.
Whatever you do, please don't run away from this."

I can't believe you're real...

savored_sound @ 2009-09-28T13:34:00

2009-09-28T17:43:17Z

Friday night around 1:00 AM I broke onto one of the sound stages in the film village with my friends Lindsay and Brittni.
We set up a few lights and Lindsay modeled for us.

yeah?
maybe?
what do you think?

savored_sound @ 2009-09-26T01:49:00

2009-09-26T05:50:54Z

my friend wrote a rap about me

Cigarette Callie
Smoking in the alley
Taking a break from the movie set

Running with the boys
Playing with camera toys
Gonna be Ellen Kuras but she ain't there yet

savored_sound @ 2009-09-12T08:56:00

2009-09-12T12:56:18Z

Honey, you didn't even make the list.

savored_sound @ 2009-09-11T04:11:00

2009-09-11T08:14:21Z

Its four in the morning
and for some reason
I feel sick to my stomach

I just packed every last bit of everything away
I've got enough clothes to last me through tomorrow and the next day
We'll see after that

I'm not sure why I'm so frustrated
Sometimes all I want
is...

see...I don't even know anymore

savored_sound @ 2009-09-09T12:49:00

2009-09-09T16:49:49Z

The crickets and night birds are screeching louder than my radio
with two of my four windows down driving to a temporary home
from sitting next to you for two hours
in front of two people, 30 feet tall
and in so much love

the moon is smirking down
with yellow teeth from all of our smoke
shaking his head
laughing at how i'll never know what that means

savored_sound @ 2009-09-07T16:07:00

2009-09-07T20:07:45Z

I just got really nervous
like cut wires sparking in the bottom of my stomach
what am i doing?

5 days...

savored_sound @ 2009-08-27T11:56:00

2009-08-27T15:59:13Z

perched on that roof
leaning against the paint chips on the window sill
I'm looking out at a lot of things

the next couple of months
the next few years
but wouldn't you know
I can still never see tomorrow

it will be so good
whatever is going to happen
I may never come back...

savored_sound @ 2009-08-17T22:42:00

2009-08-18T02:43:50Z

finally healing up
been running a fever for around 5 days now
can't seem to get things straight in my head

got cloudy thoughts
all mixing together

I need to get out of here.